He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
