maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Randomize
