you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
