Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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