wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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