you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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