Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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