So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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