I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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