Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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