and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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