pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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