I must be too annoying 4 u.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
