Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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