I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
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Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
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In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I see more hoeing in ur future
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