Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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