I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
