Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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