you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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