i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
