u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
