She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
