So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
