Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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