ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Randomize
