Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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