Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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