The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found the puke drawer
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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