some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
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How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
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I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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