Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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