i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
