we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
