at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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