Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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