waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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