You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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