She's JV to your varsity
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
