me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
