Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
