In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
