I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
