Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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