i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
