What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Randomize
