...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
