Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
