last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize