I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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