Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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