i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
