I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
zippers are such a cool invention
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
