you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
