Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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