some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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