He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
