I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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