I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
