Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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