He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
He felt like a one man threesome
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Sext me about skeletons
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
