I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
A+ Viking dick
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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