Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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