If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
