i think i have two assholes
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
